My Father

What I would give for another hour-
Another play-through of Mario
Or shooting hoops in the backyard.
Even greater I would trade for more-
A long conversation about whatever
Or to hear you say I’m okay as I am.
Three years feels just like yesterday
But I know my last memories of you are far away.

This was the beginning of what was going to be poem about my father. Unfortunately, the inspiration wasn’t entirely there or I just could not get my thoughts out the way I wanted to. My father and his death are two subjects I try to avoid talking about.
I never had actual conversations with my dad. At least not one I can remember now. My biggest regret is never coming out to him. I feared my father, even while his health was deteriorating from the cancer. I always tried to do my best in school and work so I could be successful and make him proud. But I was never prepared for how he would take to me being gay. So I never told him.
And now I’ll never know what he would have said to me.
That’s the worst part of losing someone- the unsaid.
But nothing I do can change what never happened and I guess I should understand that and not let it fester inside. I think I might start a journal- get out everything I want to say to him that I never got the chance to.
Anybody have some other suggestions on how to cope?


BREAKING NEWS: Ken Levine to Close Irrational Games, Future of Bioshock Lies With Another Developer

Sad, sad news. : /

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In a bit of shocking news, Ken Levine recently blogged about the future of his development company Irrational Games, and the future of the Bioshock franchise. Needless to say, this wasn’t exactly the news I was hoping to find behind the link, but in order to press forward and create the games that he wants to create, Ken Levine is disbanding Irrational Games.

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