“She has long toes just like you do.”
I guess this would not be the typical compliment but I took it as one. The woman who said this to me knew nothing of my relationship to the peanut and made the logic assumption that the baby I was holding had come from inside me.
It’s convenient that my wife and I look a little alike. Although it is plain to see she gets her cute little face from her mother (and her countless expressions), I claim some of the more obtuse features, like the toes and the chubby cheeks.
I still dread the day our daughter understands how babies are made and wants to know who gave birth to her. But the little things keep me hopeful that when the day comes when we explain to her how she came about, it won’t matter even the slightest.
Our daughter is seven weeks (and a day) old and it feels like she was just born last week. It amazes me to watch her everyday and although the changes might be tiny, it is awesome to spot them. She smiles every so often and she coos and talks when she’s happy and gets to lie down and kick as she pleases. And she loves her baths.
And snuggling with us in the morning. That is my favorite part of the day. Once we get back home to San Diego, I get a little while before I go back to work so the peanut and I will have Mommy/Daughter time while Momma goes to work. Excited for that- I’m sure we will have lots of misadventures together.
Our crazy day started late Wednesday night and is finally reaching a calmer point. Fifteen hours of labor and an emergency C-Section into it, our daughter was finally out. Hearing her cries for the first time made the world stop for a few seconds. A gush of warmth overcame my heart and those rare tears of absolute joy came. The rest of the evening and the morning following have become somewhat of a blur of constant monitoring and 15-minute or fewer long naps.
Now Saturday is almost here and hopefully by tomorrow night we can leave the hospital and finally bring our little girl home.
I look forward to enjoying all the days yet to come. All the cute faces she’ll make, the firsts that will come with time, and the how she will grow into a (most likely) trouble child and eventually an adult.
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
This is just the beginning.
This would probably fall under tomorrow’s topic perfectly but it’s pretty much past midnight everywhere else in the states so here goes.
Today was the day- finally our baby girl was born. After a long night and day of preparing my love to have our baby, she finally came. It was a tough day and it was extremely terrifying. Imagine waiting almost a year for something and it doesn’t work out. Something going wrong was a big worry of mine, but my wife was in good hands.
Now, nearly 24 hours after the whole process started, Momma and baby are okay and ready for some sleep. Today has been both one of the most terrifying and happiest days of my life.
I am extremely grateful that everything worked out today. And I’m grateful for friends and her family, who have been supportive of us and our decision to bring another human being into the world.
I look forward to raising our Ella and learning the many lessons of parenthood.
The new year is right around the corner. Not to sell Christmas short or anything, but the event I Iook most forward to is set for the end of January. Some years ago, I was the last person who wanted to get married and have a family. But now that I have found my love, I am happily married and our little family is about to become the two of us plus one.
I give my wife lots of props for these past months. I know she is ready for the next month and a half to fly by. I am excited and nervous. I know very little about taking care of infants and small children, which is why I am extremely thankful for my love and her more knowledgableness. She has faith that I’ll figure it out and do fine- I hope she’s right.
I think what worries me more is how people around us will react. I’m fortunate that my friends and the people I work with are accepting of me and my wife. But there will be those who won’t be.
As I get older, I have less and less patience for arrogance, ignorance, and extreme stupidity. But I don’t want to fight hate with more hate. There’s already too much of that in the world.
But the world is slowly changing and hopefully we won’t bump into too many negative people.
I’ll cross my fingers.
I have been doing a lot of remembering and thinking about high school. This is most likely, 99.9% likely, due to the fact I have been watching Awkward. almost daily to catch myself up to the new season. Today, my thoughts of a memory best long gone far away mixed with my ideas of who I hope our peanut will be in the future. Although it would make me super proud for her to be a genius and child prodigy who will provide us with a rich retirement, I think it would be best to set my expectations to a more realistic setting.
I was not one to be envious of when it came to high school. I was smart- top ten smart- and I posted some witty opinion articles in the school newspaper that often got me little recognition. Mostly because I was pretty invisible to half my grade and most of all others. I am proud of my few achievements because I had done something because despite me being completely anti-social, I was trying to expand my social circles (A for effort, but C- for execution).
I hope for my daughter to not be as awkward as I was in school and since she will be a mini of my love, I probably won’t have to worry about that. I hope she joins all the clubs she wants, plays a sport or two if that’s her thing, go to events, have friends and fun, and be the person she wants to be.
I once or twice had that thought of what school would be like if I had a redo. I would be more like myself today. I wish I would have embraced my differences and my sexuality and overall awesomeness. School would have been so much more interesting. But, from first-hand experience, I know school and society often makes it hard for one to feel safe with expressing their own individuality. And unfortunately, that era probably won’t be over when our daughter begins going to school. But even if she is doomed to face some challenges with school and growing up, she’ll have the support of her parents who know all too well about society and the hardships of not fitting the mold.
This will conclude my rants about stupid drunk people for the night. To my peanut, this will be a lesson taught to you when you’re older. Never let drunk people ruin anything. Now, this is something I have found difficult in my older years. It will at a concert, a night out, or even at a movie. Unfortunately, stupid drunk people are everywhere and the really stupid ones find any reason to get completely trashed and act ridiculous. Take tonight for example.
My love bought tickets for us to go see Mayday Parade because they are my favorite band and I haven’t seen them in two years. So, we make it through almost the three bands following up to Mayday with a good spot. My love would occasionally come stand by me and the go sit to relax her feet. Yes, I know the pregnant woman shouldn’t be at the punk rock concert by she wouldn’t let me go alone. Then it happens, drunk one and two stumble up to our spot and fall like dead weight against me then the girl next to me when I move back. My wife, not one to take crap from people came up to help me push up against them to get them from being a big distraction to everyone around. The drunk girls got rowdy, tried to shove my pregnant wife, and then I was pushing both of them back by their chests as they attempted to claw at me.
The guard closest to us blamed it on my wife and she nearly got kicked out. When they pulled her aside and got the story, they came back for me and we had to move to a different part of the venue.I had pointed out drunk one and two but the guard didn’t pull them away when he walked me out. But they were smart enough to leave the spot before we we’re let back in to point them out to some other workers there.
I was so angry I wanted to leave but I’m glad I didn’t and stayed to see my favorite band. So, lesson of the day, try to avoid drunk people if necessary and never let them ruin your fun.
I am not one to really to the watch the news- it’s usually super depressing. I mean, I try to keep up with LGBT issues in the news but as for the morning or nightly news- neh. But occasionally it finds me, like the other night. Today, the big problem with kids and teenagers these days is sexting. When I was younger, I had no cell phone or laptop or tablet. My first cell phone came to me in 10th grade and it was a flip-phone. My first iPhone was one I bought myself less than three years. Sure, we had the home computer and messaging services like AIM and Yahoo! Messenger, but back then my mind knew nothing of sending dirty pictures or messages to others.
And now it has become a nationwide epidemic. Even kindergarten children are being caught sending private texts- what the hell is going on in society these days? I worry about my daughter growing up in today’s world. My love has similar worries- she asked me once if we could home school the peanut. Funny how when you’re younger, you don’t think about all of the scary things that can happen to you on any given day, but once you’re about to have one of your own, you think of everything and it’s terrifying.
Sending pictures of under-aged children is a crime, which is something that parents had never to talk to their children about when I was younger. At least, not that I know of. How do you begin to have that conversation?
I don’t know.
I hope I never have to confront her about an issue like that, but we already live in a different world than the one I remember growing up in.