They are everything
The first meeting, the first text
The long nighty phone conversations
They were analyzed
Phrases were rehearsed and planned
They are the reason you fell for me
Crafted so carefully
Presented so articulately
They mean nothing
If they aren’t made for you from me.
How do we escape this haze?
Every day seems the same
Some shine bright
While others fade to gray.
How do we find the order
When everything seems to be in disarray?
Wake up together
Fall asleep beside one another
But some days it doesn’t feel the same.
How do I become the hero again?
As time passes
It seems I am more fit to play the villian
Can I redeem myself or is all hope lost?
This haze runs too deep
This uncertainty too thick.
How do we rise above
And return to what we once were?
I’m having a rough night after an already long day and instead of ranting, I’ll just use poetry to express my feelings on the subject.
When you feel so mad
That you want the feeling to fade so bad.
Think of sunshine and rainbows
Be high on life instead of low.
Yes, people are lazy
But don’t let it get you crazy.
Screw this and screw that
Just don’t take it out on your family or cat.
Laziness is not a great work quality
In two weeks you will be free from this city.
Do the monkey work
And let those mean thoughts continue to lurk.
Remember you be missed
When things are left shitty and your boss is pissed.
Because what will all of this matter anyway
When you’re gone and far, far away?
It’s not great but whatever- at least I made it rhyme. I have begun to countdown my departure time. I don’t know why I am still writing in rhymes. I’ve been playing this game where monsters attack you in the mines. It’s pretty epic- it’s called Until Dawn.
Okay, no more rhymes. But check that game out, it’s fun and scary and it keeps you guessing. And that “happy” ending- ha. Not going to spoil it. I’ve been renting it from the Redbox because I have some free codes for game rentals. Definitely worth it if you like survival horror and the cast is pretty awesome. Watch out in those mines though- and pretty much everywhere else once the final hours start counting down.
Well, back to work I go until morning comes.
And I’m just barely getting by.
And I’m powerless in my battles.
And I’m simply the accessory that fits her arm.
And I’m not always in it.
And I’m enjoying it while it lasts.
Jot some scribbles with a pen
Take down phrases with some lead.
Tap the letters and numbers on a set a keys
Or spell it out in flourscent green.
Pick your tool,
Set your goals.
However you choose
And whenever you choose to do it.
And let your words be known.
Either this or that
Or nothing at all.
“Do this” “no, do this”-
“That’s all wrong.”
Be this, be that
Or go be somewhere else.
Love him, love her
But don’t love that one.
Tell me who to be
Tell me how to live
Tell me which person to love
Tell me, if you would prefer to be me instead,
Or tell me nothing at all.
Quiet of the night
While most others are sleeping tight.
Take a moment to pause
And step outside of the restricting walls.
Look to the sky
Let a moment or two pass by.
Enjoy it and breathe
Then return to the daily schedule of scenes.
It’s what you do best.
You try to out do,
Because your strengths never shine.
To be a part of the circle.
So you get what you want.
To understand what I know too well.
But I know it’s a lie
And you’ll never be a part of this crowd.
The metal shimmers in the sun.
The light catches her eye
And her little hand reaches out to grab it.
A man in his youth,
A man my daughter will never meet.
She will know the stories
She will know his face.
And one day she will see
That he is no longer of this place
But somewhere better,
The image of him sparkles in the sun
Like the place where he looks down on us from.
Six hours of sleep
Back on tired legs and feet
Need that boost of caffeine to start the day
An unmotivated start to the month of May.
Almost time to clock in
And let the countdown begin.
Exhausted today. Yesterday was a rough day. So much drama but an don’t even care to talk about it. Simply, people pretended to be our friends and lied to us for who knows how long and talked shit behind our backs.
Definitely not our friends anymore.
Being civilized about it and getting and giving back stuff. Just done with the whole situation. Getting too old for this shit. Not saying I’m old but once you have a child, you have to cut that crap out. But not everyone gets that memo.
Oh well, i’ll just rid myself of that negativity.
About to clock in. Dreading the next eight and a half hours but I gotta do what I need to do.
Just need to survive to Monday- the next off day.
Wish me luck.