We have a blanket laid out in the living room for our daughter’s tummy time. What never ceases to amaze me is how we can set her down on one end of the blanket and she manages to randomly end up on the other side when we look away for a few minutes. For a baby that doesn’t crawl, she gets around the room pretty well. I can’t believe two months ago, she was only rolling from her tummy onto her back. Now, she wiggles her way around the room and tries to snatch up her Momma’s coupons that get left on the floor. I never knew a baby could be so mobile without knowing how to crawl.
She is getting the hang of it though.
We started her on baby food and she loves it. She screams at us if we don’t feed her fast enough and it’s super cute.
She also still loves her snuggles. When it’s naptime during the morning, she’ll watch me if I’m not lying next to her. It’s just one of those little things that makes me happy to be a mom. Like the way she smiles at me after she wakes up in the morning (unless she’s cranky because she’s hungry), and how she fusses for my attention. I love my little girl and I know she loves me, too.
Love is an interesting and amazing thing. Although love is always there, sometimes it catches you off-guard more or manages to take your breath away for a few seconds longer. Spending time with my daughter today, love blindsided me for a moment. She smiles every day now and very often. She even giggles sometimes, too. She loves when we act silly- it always brings out the biggest of her smiles.
Seeing her smiling and happy today, it just hit me. I fell a little bit more in love with this little girl and I couldn’t understand why anyone would not love and treasure a child. There is no way to describe being able to watch them grow and develop features and mannerisms. I love our tiny human more than life itself. And loving her makes me love my wife even more.
I never wanted children- I didn’t even want to get married. And yet, here I am, one year married and with an adorable four month old who loves me regardless of whether my blood and DNA are inside her. She already takes after me with the way she sleeps and that alone means the world to me, as odd as it sounds.
When I see her, it doesn’t matter if work was stupid or any other petty problem that might bother me. She reminds me of an optimism that I have been lacking in the past year or so- a piece of me that’s hidden away or missing.
Some days I think I need her more than she needs me. She shows me a happier side of life and proves that things might be tough but not impossible to overcome.
I love my daughter and I love my wife and I want to better myself for the both of them. And, as long as I have their love, I know I can do it and that everything will be alright.
I am thankful for the wife I can proudly call mine. She is a great mother and I see that fact more and more every day. She sings our daughter songs and they have bathtime together. They take naps together during the day and send me pictures when I’m stuck at work. She does some of the sweetest things for me- especially on special days. She does everything she can to keep us safe and happy.
She made breakfast this morning and chocolate-covered strawberries (although it was supposed to be me making them). She and our daughter made me a cute work of art.
I wrote her a poem and am in the or process of making her physical gift still (we had agreed to really celebrate Mother’s Day on next Wednesday) but I could have done more to make today special.
Now that I’m at work and waiting to clock in for the night, I hope she’ll go to sleep remembering her first Mother’s Day as a great one.
She wakes up a little before two when I come into the bedroom to go to sleep. It starts as her stirring to her making little sounds then her fake cried mixed with a few more convincing ones.
Four ounces of formula and almost two hours later, she still fights going back to sleep. When I first brought her into the living room after her awakening, she was completely awake and smiling at me and the lights on her swing.
Now, she’s moving every so often and hopefully falling back to sleep until 7 (or 8 would be better). But I forget about being tired when I look at her. Seeing her smile fills me with so much joy. Watching her sleep calms my mind temporarily.
She is amazing. Someone so small- someone who has yet to learn how to walk or crawl or talk has had such a huge impact on me. She makes me want to be better, stronger, kinder.
I love my daughter.
This weekend will be our first Mother’s Day. Although we decided to celebrate it next week when I have another off day, it will still be a special day. Hard to believe it’s only been a little over three months since the peanut’s been born. She’s gotten so much bigger and she’s almost learned to crawl. I can’t wait for all the Mother’s Day to come and what cute things the peanut will help create or do for her Moms.
“She has long toes just like you do.”
I guess this would not be the typical compliment but I took it as one. The woman who said this to me knew nothing of my relationship to the peanut and made the logic assumption that the baby I was holding had come from inside me.
It’s convenient that my wife and I look a little alike. Although it is plain to see she gets her cute little face from her mother (and her countless expressions), I claim some of the more obtuse features, like the toes and the chubby cheeks.
I still dread the day our daughter understands how babies are made and wants to know who gave birth to her. But the little things keep me hopeful that when the day comes when we explain to her how she came about, it won’t matter even the slightest.
I see it happening around me a lot more than I should. One of my pet peeves, even before the birth of our daughter, was parents who either were not good parents or we’re not good role models. Yes, it maybe a little harsh but the truth is the truth. Don’t display the manners you don’t want your children to pick up on and have as they grow. However, you do not have to be a terrible parent for that truth to apply to you.
As a still new parent, I have many things I still need to learn.
Put lotion on the peanut after her bath.
Make sure to know where a binky is at all times.
Always have more patience than you think necessary and have more than that.
I don’t have the best relationship with my mother. It has struggled more in the past few years because of who I am and who I love. But she is still my family and family is important.
I have a fear the peanut will grow to not respect me as a parent because I am not blood to her.
I chose not to have a relationship anymore with my mother because it was not convenient for me. So, who can say I do not deserve the same intolerance from my child?
I have a lot to learn and changes to make. And I will work on them for the sake of my daughter not inheriting negative mannerisms from me.
Our daughter is seven weeks (and a day) old and it feels like she was just born last week. It amazes me to watch her everyday and although the changes might be tiny, it is awesome to spot them. She smiles every so often and she coos and talks when she’s happy and gets to lie down and kick as she pleases. And she loves her baths.
And snuggling with us in the morning. That is my favorite part of the day. Once we get back home to San Diego, I get a little while before I go back to work so the peanut and I will have Mommy/Daughter time while Momma goes to work. Excited for that- I’m sure we will have lots of misadventures together.
…but I had more pressing matters to attend to. A trip to the doctor to clear up some questions we had about the peanut’s health (nothing major). Being out and about. And taking care of the peanut of course. We had our first night without her and although she was just on the other side of the house, we missed her a lot.
Every day with her is a happy one. She might get fussy but hey- she’s a baby and she is too cute to be frustrated with. I can’t wait until she starts walking and talking, but those won’t happen for a while.
I’m sure once she starts getting bigger, I’ll be a little sad that I can’t hold her like I can now. I hope she’ll still like snuggling with her moms though.
Tomorrow will mark our peanut being four weeks old. We are still in the process of getting her on a stable sleeping schedule, which is okay since we still have another month before we go back home and my love starts working again. It definitely feels like the time is flying by. Next thing I know, she’s going to start talking. She’s starting to get into a crawling position- I think she just needs to figure out how to use her arms to keep herself up.
I’m trying to come up with a compilation of lullabies to sing to her but I don’t really want to sing the typical songs to her. I would rather find songs from music I like listening to. So far, I have one picked out. I’ll post it below. Any suggestion would be nice- I like listening to most genres, like rock, country, pop, punk, alternative, musical- so a little bit of everything.
In other news, Lightning Returns is still an awesome game and I am enjoying running around dressed as Cloud. Still workiing on my short story collection (very slowly) and a novel from a series I’ve been working on for some years now.
Also, Rizzoli and Isles is back on for the end of season 4- I am very happy about this news and you should be, too.